Today I started writing out my Christmas cards. I will be sending out 45 of them this year. I love to send out the cards, but I love getting them back even more. I didn't have an address of a family that I needed in my address book, but I knew where I could find it. In a big box I have of all the hundreds of Sympathy cards I got after Shawn died. While I was looking for the address I of course started re-reading some of the cards that I had gotten. I then found my 'favorite' sympathy card I received. (if there can really be a favorite when you are talking about sympathy cards) I thought I would take this time and share the card with all of you.
The card is a pale cream color with a green bottom, little silver stars and 3 elephants walking in the distance the card reads:
"We are all creatures
of this great earth-
interconnected in ways
beyond understanding.
Take elephants.
So big.
So strong.
And yet,
when a member
of a herd passes,
even elephants mourn.
They gather around,
extend their trunks,
and gently touch
the tusks
of their fallen friend.
It's their ritual.
It's how they heal.
And it's sad.
And it's beautiful.
So maybe
what we're trying to say
is that the world
doesn't expect you
to be fine with this.
Be how you need to be.
Mourn how you need to mourn.
And know that
you're thought of
with love."
Right after Shawn died I was so mad and upset. I had the question of Why? Why did God have to pick Shawn? Why did Shawn have to leave me today, why not 30 years from now? Did Shawn really want to go to Heaven instead of being with me? Why couldn't he come back to me...to us? The next day one of the families that attended the childcare center I worked at came to my house to drop off this card. I loved the card the minute I read it. My favorite lines are 'the world doesn't expect you to be fine with this. Be how you need to be. Mourn how you need to mourn.'
How true are those words? I thought to myself...finally a card that is telling me I can be upset with this, that I don't have to like the fact that Shawn is gone, and that it is ok for me to deal with this in my own way. This card was a big relief to me.
Living the life I've lived the last 3 months I've learned that no two people grieve the same way. There isn't a right way to go through this thing called grief or a wrong way. The way to get through the grief is what works for you as a person. Some people will come through being a 'better' person for going through it, some may have troubles and take steps backwards in their life, while others may just idle by. Whatever works for that person is what they need to do to cope with what has gone on in their life.
We as other people just have to try to support their decision on how they grieve.
The card is a pale cream color with a green bottom, little silver stars and 3 elephants walking in the distance the card reads:
"We are all creatures
of this great earth-
interconnected in ways
beyond understanding.
Take elephants.
So big.
So strong.
And yet,
when a member
of a herd passes,
even elephants mourn.
They gather around,
extend their trunks,
and gently touch
the tusks
of their fallen friend.
It's their ritual.
It's how they heal.
And it's sad.
And it's beautiful.
So maybe
what we're trying to say
is that the world
doesn't expect you
to be fine with this.
Be how you need to be.
Mourn how you need to mourn.
And know that
you're thought of
with love."
Right after Shawn died I was so mad and upset. I had the question of Why? Why did God have to pick Shawn? Why did Shawn have to leave me today, why not 30 years from now? Did Shawn really want to go to Heaven instead of being with me? Why couldn't he come back to me...to us? The next day one of the families that attended the childcare center I worked at came to my house to drop off this card. I loved the card the minute I read it. My favorite lines are 'the world doesn't expect you to be fine with this. Be how you need to be. Mourn how you need to mourn.'
How true are those words? I thought to myself...finally a card that is telling me I can be upset with this, that I don't have to like the fact that Shawn is gone, and that it is ok for me to deal with this in my own way. This card was a big relief to me.
Living the life I've lived the last 3 months I've learned that no two people grieve the same way. There isn't a right way to go through this thing called grief or a wrong way. The way to get through the grief is what works for you as a person. Some people will come through being a 'better' person for going through it, some may have troubles and take steps backwards in their life, while others may just idle by. Whatever works for that person is what they need to do to cope with what has gone on in their life.
We as other people just have to try to support their decision on how they grieve.
10 comments:
simply beautiful, be how you need to be~
you are always in my thoughts~
Wonderful words and thoughts.
well said.
so, so true!
Oh those are great words! I agree, everyone's path is unique and the kindest thing sometimes is to not overdo our words or sentiments.
You are growing in your writing. Its becoming even more powerful. Blessings to you!
You are wise as those elephants.
What a beautiful post and beautiful card. Those words are so true.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow you sure have a lot of cards to send out.
We did ours today. So I should be sending mine out soon.
I liked the elephant card.
what a great card...you rarely find one that says the "right" thing, but that one came pretty close! Just Beautiful!
Tomorrow I will be attending the funeral service of a beloved friend who died last week at the age of 29 from cancer of the pulmonary artery. She had a husband, a 3 year old little girl and a 4 month old baby boy.
I have been searching for the words to write in the sympathy card I bought for them. Knowing that these words you posted meant so much to you....maybe they will help me in what to say to her family.
Thank you for sharing....
Amy
Oregon
Post a Comment