Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

From: Jenny and Bo

This is the letter that I sent out in my Christmas card this year. I thought I would share it with all of you.

Dear Friends,
I hope this Christmas card finds you and your family happy and healthy. I also want to wish you and your family the best Holiday season this year and for the New Year to come.

For those of you who don’t know, the cute little puppy on the front of the card is my new puppy Bo. I named him after Shawn’s all time favorite football coach UofM’s Bo Shemblecker. Needless to say little Bo has tons of Uof M puppy toys and yes clothes. Shawn and I always wanted a dog, but could never have them where we lived. When I moved back to Michigan to live with my parents I thought about getting a puppy, but thought I didn’t really want a puppy and a baby at the same time. When I lost our baby I thought the timing was perfect to get a puppy and that Bo would help to keep to me busy. I wasn’t wrong there, he maybe little but he sure has lots of energy and loves to chew on EVERYTHING! So yes he has been keeping me very busy. I love him to pieces and he has really helped me a lot through the last few months. I think I now have a new best friend; he follows me all over the place.

I’m sure many of you are wondering how I’m doing. Well I’m going to answer that as honestly as possible. I’m not going to lie…I do have bad days, days where I wonder to myself why did I have to lose not only my wonderful husband and our baby too? Why me, why Shawn and why is my life so drastically different now? Those days really rip me up, but thankfully those days don’t happen too often. For the most part though I think I’m doing ‘ok’. I like to tell people that I have good days with really bad moments. I know in order to ‘heal’ all the way I need to have those times, so when they arrive I just let them happen. My hardest time is usually at bedtime. I miss not being able to snuggle up to Shawn. I still sleep with Shawn’s ‘dirty’ t-shirts, but they make me feel better so for now those shirts are like my security blanket…I need them. Shawn used to tell me that I was a stronger woman than I gave myself credit for. I have had people tell me that they are amazed at my ‘strength’ the last 3 months. This strength comes from Shawn and the person he helped me to become. Shawn ‘coached’ me to be the person that I am today. The strength that he gave me is the strength that is getting me through this time. I have also had the support of my family, great friends, and my YSU football family to help me as well.

I’m not sure what my new ‘normal’ is going to be. I’m still trying to figure that out and I’m guessing that finding the ‘new normal’ is going to take some time. Many people have told me that I’m in store for ‘great things’ and that I will do ‘great things’ in my life. Now I just have to take the time to figure out what those ‘great things’ are going to be and what new direction I want my life to move in. I have not yet returned to work, I’m guessing sometime after the first of the year I will try and find something. I think I will probably only go back to work part time…at least for a while and then see what happens. Being married to a football coach, moving was always a possibility at any time. Maybe I will take advantage of that mind set and take this time to “fly” and move somewhere totally different and new. I will see what kind of opportunities are presented to me within the next few months and then go from there. For now I’m calling Midland, Michigan and my parent’s house “home”. I’m just taking it one day at a time and trying to figure out my ‘new life’ the best way I know how.

Thank you all once again for your thoughts, prayers, and cards after Shawn passed away. They all meant a great deal to me. This goes for all of my great new blogging friends as well.

Once again I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!