I did it...well almost. 30 posts in 30 days for the month of November. Whew!! I actually missed one day in the beginning so I really only have 29 numbered posts for the 29 days I posted. However, if you count the time I posted when my blog was getting it's face lift then I really do have 30 because I posted twice that day, but only counted the one. Anyways the 30 posts in 30 days is now over. However, I have come to realize that I love blogging, I love reading each of your blogs and I love posting to mine. I mean it's what I do all day...blog! So I'm going to continue to post everyday. I think my blog has been a great way for me to release my many many emotions that I feel at any given point and time.
Thank you again for reading my blog and as always thank you for the great comments back to me. I was just telling a non blogger friend of mine the other day how amazed I still am at the support you get from fellow blogger's, people that you have never met and probably will never meet, but yet are there for you when you need it the most. You all have been a huge form of support for me over the last 3 months and I feel like I could really never thank you all enough, except for to keep saying thank-you. So thank you!!!! from the bottom of my heart.
Ok, well the last few days have been somewhat emotional for me. I think I kept it together pretty well, but have felt really sad and lonely on the inside. I've felt a gamete of emotions ever since Wednesday when preparing myself for my first Thanksgiving without Shawn. I thought once Thanksgiving was over I would feel a bit better, but instead I missed shopping with him on Black Friday. I was with my mom and sister, but still felt so alone. It is such a horrible feeling, I had my mom and sister with me and hundreds of people in the store around but still felt alone.
Shawn and I always shopped on that day together, we talked about what we were going to get our families and our plans for gifts to each other. This year I did the shopping myself, and was saddened by the thought of not getting Shawn a gift this year. I already posted about the memorial tree, but that only got me thinking more about Christmas and Christmas without Shawn. I felt proud picking out a tree to honor Shawn with, but also felt sad at the same time that I had to do that. I think if there was a way I could just skip Christmas this year I would. I know I can't and I know I have to face it and I will, as I've faced everything the last 3 months, but this just might be one of the harder things to face...Christmas morning without him. UGH!!
Then last night I went to see the movie 4 Christmases, all I can say is freakin hysterical!! I seriously don't think I have laughed that hard since Shawn has died. I even choked swallowing my pop one time. Vince Vaughn is just too damn funny! It was a great movie and I would rec commend it to anyone who needs a good laugh. It was well worth the $16 I spent. Anyways I've felt about 100 different emotions within the last few days, and now I'm tired so I think I'm going to watch some TV and fall asleep.
Here is to many posts to come!!
18 comments:
I'm happy to hear you went to the movies. Who did you go with? How's Bo like the trees? Do you know when you are coming yet?
So glad that you are going to keep blogging :) I feel blessed to have found your blog and to be able join you on your "journey". You are such an incredible woman!
I want to see that movie too! I have to ask, $16!!!! Is that what it costs to go to the movies? YIKES! I think I must be spoiled, my cousin manges a theater and we usually get to go for free :)
Jen
I've been reading your blog for awhile and thought I'd atleast comment once, and say how much I love reading your blog everyday.
What about buying shawn a gift and then donating it to the needy? That could be a nice little tradition you could start. It would be a way Shawn would keep giving each year.
Glad you enjoyed the movie, I'll definitely be going to see it, love Vince Vaughn.
I can only imagine how hard this time of year must be for you!
(((Hugs)))
I am glad that blogging has helped you a bit. I read your blog every day.
Its amazing how life actually proves many of those cliches--like feeling alone in a crowd. Not until life happens to hit you with those situations do you realize that those cliches are based on reality.
I am originally from Michigan, so I often think of you. What struck me from this post--you said "pop"!! Being in New England, no one knows what the heck I mean when I say "I want some pop"!
I want to go see that movie--I hope I get a chance to.
I am so proud of you for all of the blogging days you did in Nov. I was also able to do 30 posts but ended up with 34.
I am going to try and keep blogging also as much as I can. I have enjoyed it. I have also enjoyed meeting new people and friends like you. Take care.
I hope the holidays get better for you.
I am glad you will keep on blogging. I was gone for a week so I had to catch up on my reading this morning. I love the things about your husband post. I may have to steal it.
i really looked forward to reading your posts everyday this month and i'm glad you liked the movie! i haven't laughed that hard in awhile either!!
i'm sorry the holidays are going to be hard for you. just remember, you have a huge support system here!
I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I too, am impressed with your strength and courage as you make your way through this tremendous grief.
I've was just blog-hopping and came upon this one. Maybe you already read it, but thought I'd mention it since she talks about a book that has been helpful to her.
http://crashcoursewidow.blogspot.com/
Hang in there, Jen! There are many of us out here in bloggerville offering all of our support!!
Yes, I agree...Christmas is hard through the midst of tragedy. I have learned that when you look back at this time, you will be amazed how strong you are and that you made it through at all.
God bless you...
Way to go on the 30 posts! I know I couldn't have done it! LOL :) I'm just too dang lazy!
I'm sorry that the coming weeks are going to be so hard for you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers Jen! I think it's great though that your family can suuround and support you through this difficult time. Hold them close!
Hi! I have been following your blog for a little while but have not commented before today. It warms my heart every day to see that though you are going through the worst tragedy this year, you find something optimistic to say or a reason to smile every day. I truly hope you continue to have such a bright spirit and keep finding joy in life! anyway, the other night I was telling my husband about your blog and how the mac n cheese blog really touched me... I told him about your tradition with your husband on Sundays and how I hurt knowing that anyone would have to lose that, and clearly so much else. The next day, my husband whipped up homemade mac n cheese (this has never happened before. we are very much box of kraft with the powder mix folks). So tonight for dinner I am sitting eating more of the mac n cheese leftovers and thinking of you and your Shawn. You should post the recipe one day for "Shawn's Mac N Cheese" and your blog lurkers can make a meal and celebrate your continued healing and the memory of your wonderful husband whom we have all had the pleasure of getting to know through your posts! I dont have a blog, but if you have facebook and would like to add me, just search kimberlywaller@alumni.appstate.edu. Thats me! ~Kimmie in NC
I want to see 4 Christmas' so bad, heck, I will see it, it's on my to do list.
No, I don't sit here to read all your replies, but Nancy's caught my eye and I second her idea by getting a gift for Shawn and donating it to the needy.
Also I wanted to attempt to give you a pep talk. So far we have read your wonderful blog, and have witnessed how scared you have been to face the "first" things without Shawn. Each time, it's been followed by a success story on how you did get through it. Christmas will be no different. As Christmas approaches, you'll be more and more afraid to face it without Shawn, but like all the other "first", you will get through it. You may cry and it may be hard, but after the fact, it probably wont be quite as hard as you expected. Hasn't it been that way so far. I think Shawn is giving you the strength you need to press on.
I am glad you had a great time at the movies..You will get through the holidays as you are a lot stronger then you think you are:) I lost my both my parents recently and I know that it is nothing like losing a husband and a baby and all the first are HARD but they are only firsts once..I know your husband must be very proud of you and all that you are doing..keep smiling!
So glad you liked the movie! I was embarassed to tell people I liked it because it was so mindless and hilarious! I definitely appreciated my family time more on Thursday after seeing it:)
Glad to hear you got some needed laughs at the movie!
I'm so glad you were able to laugh at the movies and congrats on 30 posts in 30 days. I love reading your blog so that I know specifically how to pray for you each day.
Hugs and many prayers,
Amanda
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