A few weeks ago I ordered Shawn's headstone. Out of a broshure I found the one that I 'liked', then I could change anything on it that I wanted. Online I found the UofM logo and the logo for the NCAA college football orginization. For those of you who maybe new and don't know Shawn LOVED UofM football. I put the UofM logo in one corner and the NCAA logo in the other. I also knew somewhere on his headstone I wanted the word 'COACH'. There wasn't enough room on the stone to have the word 'HUSBAND' as well as 'COACH'. I thought long and hard about what I wanted Shawn's marker to say, I wanted everyone who went to the cemetary to know that Shawn was my husband, but at the same time I want everyone to know that he was a Coach.
After a lot of thinking I decided to go with the word 'Coach'. Afterall Shawn just wasn't a football coach, but he was my coach as well. He coached me to be who I am today and he is still coaching me this very minute. A Coach he was and always will be.
My friend Megan and I went out to the cemetary today. I wasn't sure if it was going to be in the ground or not. At first when I got out of the truck I didn't think it was there, but then the closer I got to Shawn I saw it. I stoped, Megan came up behind me and gave me a hug and told me it was ok to cry if I needed to. I only had a few tears. I couldn't believe that I was looking at Shawn's headstone in the ground. God, my heart hurt so bad seeing that. Seeing the stone made a part of me feel that Shawn has been gone for so long, but then another part of me felt like he just died yesterday. This whole thing really sucks and sucks big time! I guess going to the cemetary and seeing Shawn's headstone was just one more thing I needed to get through. I did it and I was fine. Well I don't know if fine is the right word. I was so glad that Megan was there with me. It was great to have a friend there with me.
I will write more soon.
14 comments:
I think the headstone is just perfect for Shawn. Isn't weird how we look at headstones and think that? Before Samuel died, I didn't give headstones much thought.
I am glad it is in. Now, when you go visit, it seems more complete. For me, that was a good thing. Another step in the whole process of grieving and surviving.
I hope you are well.
Oh, how my heart hurts for you! I'm so glad the headstone is in and it looks perfect. I'm praying for you.
Hugs,
Amanda
I cannot imagine how painful that must be for you, just really glad you had a special friend with you.
(((Hugs)))
It is a beautiful headstone and yes that must have been very difficult for you, but you did a fabulous job designing it. I hope in time it gets easier and visiting the cemetary becomes a source of comfort. God Bless you - from a UM grad as well.
I'm glad you had a friend there as well.....the headstone is perfect though. I think Shawn would completely agree with your decision of what is on it!!
I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this. The headstone is very nice. I'm so glad you had a good friend there with you! Hugs!
My heart breaks for you, but I am grateful that you got through that part and you only have to do it once.
Jen - it is stunning. Simple and perfect.
Thinking of you as always!
This was a wonderful post. I really think you did a great with naming the headstone. I never thought the word "COACH" could be such a powerful word. Thanks for sharing.
You did a great job hon! I bet Shawn looks down on it smiling, knowing it's perfect!
I'm glad you have IRL friends you can surround yourself with during the tough moments!
(((HUGS)))
The headstone is wonderful. Perfect for Shawn. I know it must've broken your heart all over again to see it in the ground. You are so brave & so strong! Shawn would be so proud. I'm glad Megan was with you!
Eleanor
I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I CAME ACROSS YOUR BLOG, BUT I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I ADMIRE HOW STRONG YOU ARE! AND THE HEADSTONE IS JUST BEAUTIFUL! THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR LIFE WITH US AND I HOPE IN RETURN WE BRING YOU HOPE! KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE THIS STORM WILL EVER END, WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU AND BELIEVE YOU WILL IN TIME KNOW THAT THE STORM WILL PASS.
GOD BLESS
ANDREA
He shares the same EXACT birthday with my husband. I'm praying for you and will be thinking of you on the 21st.
Its a beautiful headstone. You did right by him. BTW, I am glad to see a picture of him on your blog headers...he looks a lot like my brother.
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