This Might Make You Laugh

So this post might just make you all laugh a little at me.

As you all know Sunday marked the 5 month anniversary of Shawn's death. I go to the cemetery every week to 'see' Shawn. If there is a 'special event' then I go on that day as well. I have gone every week since the week of his burial. The only week that I haven't gone is the week I was in Youngstown. Anyways...I wanted to go on Sunday but it was really cold so I figured I would just go yesterday when it was supposed to be warmer and sunny. So before I left for my tanning appointment I went to the cemetery. Keep in mind we have a TON of snow here in Michigan and just got about another 9 inches on Saturday.

When I pulled into the cemetery I noticed that almost all of the headstones were covered up. (Duh!!! we have lots of snow) I also noticed that there were huge snow piles along the roads leading up to the graves and it looked as though nobody else had gone to visit the other graves in a while. Again I didn't think anything of it. I wanted to go and see Shawn and I wanted to dump the snow off of Shawn's grave blanket.

I parked my car as close to Shawn's grave as I could get. I got out of my car and walked around my car. I stood there looking at a huge pile of snow leading up to the grave. I knew I was going to have to climb over the pile to get to Shawn but didn't think much of it because it looked like the snow was hard, so I figured I would just climb up and then walk over. Well I figured wrong...

I eyed up the pile as I started to climb up it. When I was standing on the road the pile of snow was about up to my knees. Again I thought I would just hop right over it. I put one hand on the snow pile so in case I slipped I would have something to brace me, so I wouldn't fall face first into the snow. I made my first step onto the pile with success. Like I thought it was hard snow. Then I put my other leg onto the pile and WHAM!!!! I sunk into the huge pile of snow. Obviously the snow wasn't as hard as I thought it was.

The next thing I knew I was standing in snow almost up to my waist. As I was standing there in crunchy snow up to my waist I had two thoughts. The first was...man Shawn is probably laughing his ass off at me right now. Thinking of Shawn laughing at me doing something stupid actually made me laugh out loud as I was standing in the snow. The second thought was...well at least I'm here alone and there is nobody to see me standing in snow up to my waist. Wrong yet again. As I was trying to get myself unstuck from the crunchy snow I looked up and a crossed the cemetery from where Shawn is there were two men and in a big truck digging a hole for another grave. CRAP!!! There were people there that saw me looking like an idiot standing waist deep in the pile of crunchy snow. Then I felt it...the snow that had somehow found it's way into my yoga pants was starting to melt. I then felt little trickles of melting snow run down my legs. Nice feeling when it was a balmy 22 degrees outside.

There I stood standing outside in a pile of snow with melting snow running down my legs and melting in my socks. After a few minutes I made my way out of the snow pile. It took some maneuvering but I did it. All while I thought of Shawn laughing at me. I finally made my way over to Shawn's grave laughing out loud to myself as I walked towards his grave blanket. I picked up his grave blanket and shook the snow off of it. I then stood there for only a few minutes talking to Shawn...because at that point I looked like I had peed myself because of the melting snow. I told him my usual things, that I love him, that I miss him, that I hope he is happy. I told Shawn that I'm doing ok and that I have good days and bad ones. All the while I was talking to Shawn I was laughing at myself for getting stuck in the snow pile. This was the first time that I had laughed while visiting him. I was laughing because I imagined Shawn laughing at me and that made me smile.

Thanks Shawn for the laugh!! It felt really good to laugh with you again!