Yesterday's Rain #16

One of my readers suggested I do a post about music and how music helped in my healing process after Shawn passed away. I think that is a great idea and I'm going to write that post for either tomorrow night's post or Wednesday's post. First I want to share another song with you.

A month or so before Shawn died he went out at got the newest CD from Gary Allan, one of our favorite male country singers. I'm not sure why but for whatever reason Shawn never even took the CD out of it's wrapper. Very odd, because usually we would listen to a new CD on the way home from the store. Well, a few months ago when I was cleaning out the CD shelf I found this CD. It's from Gary's newest album called "Living Hard". If any of you listen to country music at all his newest single is "Today" I took it out of the wrapper and listened to it as I was cleaning. All of a sudden a song called "Yesterday's Rain" came on and it literally stopped me in my tracks. It is a song about loss, remembering the memories, learning to live and move on, but at the same time remembering the love and the good times you shared with that person. I have listened to that song hundreds of times since that day. I knew Gary Allan had lost his wife a few years ago to suicide, I did not know that he wrote "Yesterday's Rain" just a few days after her funeral. Below are the lyrics. I also found a place where you can go and listen to the entire song (and I really think you all should), but for some reason it won't let you click on the link. I tried fussing with it, but I can't get it to work. But if you copy the link and paste it in another tab you can listen to the entire song. I know it's a lot of work, but it is a great song and I would love for you all to take a listen. The lyrics are:

"Yesterday's Rain"
Sometimes I think about the touch of your skin
The taste of your lips and it all comes rushing back again
And I start to spin
I think about you when the skies turn grey
Back when you were here
Well, here come the tears

Of yesterday's rain
Yesterday's rain
Well, it's better to have loved and lost than not at all
But I still love to feel it fall
Yesterday's rain
It's just yesterday's rain

Well, I've been told I shouldn't stand in your rain
That's the only place I see your face
I can see your face
It took sometime to heal but I've moved on
I still go back in time and stand in your storm's
Familiar warmth
Always feels like home

Of yesterday's rain
Yesterday's rain
Well, its better to have loved and lost than not at all
But I still love to feel it fall
Yesterday's rain
It's just yesterday's rain.

Let your memory soak me to the bone
Reminds me that I'm not alone in yesterday's rain.
It's just yesterday's rain.
That's just yesterday's rain
Think I'll walk in yesterday's rain.

Here is the link:
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=9259 OR...I just got a brilliant idea...I added this song to the playlist at the bottom of my blog. You can just turn on the volume on your computer and listen to it that way. DUH!

To me this is such a truthful and honest song. Even though I'm doing pretty well these days there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Shawn. Hell, most days there isn't an hour that goes by that I don't think about him. I've thought about what it would be like to have his arms around me again, to feel the touch of his lips on mine. And then yes, I start to spin.

I also couldn't agree more that yes, it is better to have loved and lost than not at all. I will be forever grateful and blessed to have had Shawn in my life. He taught me to love and how to live. If I knew this was all going to happen I would still chose to love him and to fall in love with him and marry him. We had 12 amazing years together and I will carry all of those memories with me forever.

Another part of this song I like is the third verse, where he says, "Well, I've been told I shouldn't stand in your rain. That's the only place I see your face. It took some time to heal, but I've moved on" The way I look at is like this. Unless you have lived and have gone through "this" people don't have a right to tell you to stop thinking about your loss or to move on. I'm here to tell you, that yes, I'm finally excited at times really excited for my future and to find love again. I dream about what my future holds for me and I can't wait for my next chapter to start. However, at the same time sometimes it feels good to just "stand in the rain", to remember the good moments that I had with Shawn. To think about what Shawn looked like and to remember the touch of his hands. I think that no matter what happens in my future or who I end meeting and/or falling in love with there will be a part of me that will always, go back in time and stand in the our storm. There will always be the warmth in our memories, and no matter what else happens what I had with Shawn will always be with me. And, if you ask me, there is nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I'm really excited to "move on" to meet other guys, and to see what else there is out there for me. I'm excited to continue finding myself and to write my next chapters, but at the same time I don't feel like there is anything wrong with standing in Yesterday's Rain every now and again.