Over the last almost 11 months I have shared some special songs on my blog with you. Songs that meant something to Shawn and I. I have also shared a few new songs that have meaning to me. Songs that spoke to me and how I was feeling at a particular time in my grieving process. There are a million songs that were special to both Shawn and I. I know nobody really wants to read a blog that is filled with special songs that have unique meaning to a couple. A while ago I told myself that I didn't think I would share any more songs for that reason. However, I heard this song for the first time while I was in Youngstown and I have to share it with you. Anyone who has lost a loved one I think will find this to be a special song. This song could be about anyone. I however feel it says everything I'm feeling in regards to Shawn's death.
The song is called Address in the Stars and it is sang by a new country duo called Caitlin and Will. As I said I first heard this song one morning last week on my way back to Jennie's house. I saw the title come a cross my radio screen and I instantly thought it sounded like a 'sad' song so I changed the channel. Then curiosity got the best of me and I changed it back. As I was listening to the words I got goose bumps all over my body, then tears instantly flooded my eyes. I even pulled over in a parking lot so I could really hear the words of the song. I couldn't believe it. Every word in this song is an emotion I have felt, or an action I have done since losing Shawn. I've written Shawn letters, only to think that's silly because he will never get them. I've been in my car screaming at the sky "why did this have to happen to Shawn?" There have been several times when I've stumbled upon a picture of Shawn and then my breath was taken away. Every single day of the past ten months there have been things I've wanted to tell and share with Shawn, but I can't because he is gone. There is a line in the song that says, " Everybody tells me that all I need is time. Every morning rolls in, and it hurts me again. And that aint nothing but a lie." I can't tell you how many times I've been told this. A part of me believes that the pain will lessen in time. I think there is a part of me that has to believe that. But then there is still that part of me that wonders if the pain will ever leave. How could it? Shawn was my entire world! I'm not sure if the pain will ever go away.
On my drive home from Youngstown I kid you not I heard this song 10 times. Ten times in a five hour drive. Since I have gotten home I think I have listened to the song about 100 times. I almost have it memorized. I love it and the emotion is so real and raw. The vocals on the song are absolutely beautiful as well.
I tried to get the video and put it on here, but for some reason it keeps coming up an error. I think it's because the video hasn't officially been released yet. I'm going to type out the words so you can at least glance at them. I'm also going to put up the link to their web site. If you go to their site on the side you can listen to all the songs off of their new CD. Please visit the site and listen to Address In the Stars, you won't regret it. However take a tissue with you when you listen....you may need one.
Their website is www.caitlinandwill.com
Address In the Stars
I stumbled across your picture today, I could barely breathe.
The moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number but you wouldn't be there.
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair.
I just wanted to hear your voice, I just needed to hear your voice.
Chorus:
What do I do with all I need to say.
So much I wanna tell you everyday.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.
Now I'm driving through the pitch black dark.
I'm screaming at the sky,
Oh, cause it hurts so bad.
Everybody tell me that all I need is time.
Every morning rolls in, and it hurts me again,
And that ain't nothin but a lie.
Chorus:
What do I do with all I need to say.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.
Without you here with me,
Don't know what to do
I'd give anything just to talk to you
Oh, it breaks my heart.
Oh, it breaks my heart.
All I can do is write these letters to you.
But there's no address in the stars.
Now go and listen to the song. It is a wonderful song!
8 comments:
I read your blog, but don't ever comment cause I feel I have nothing profound to share. My aunt recently became a widow when my uncle passed away at age 50. My aunt just sent this e-mail to several family members, so I thought I would share it w/ you. The following is the e-mail I received from my aunt:
I read a book at the beach (Odd Hours by Dean Koontz). There was a part in the book when Odd Thomas met a widow who was so sad about her husband passing away. He said to her "Loss is the hardest thing. But, it's also the teacher that's the most difficult to ignore. Grief can destroy you, or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, your're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life."
This was a powerful song. I can see how it can affect you and anyone who has lost someone. I like the Alan Jackson song "Sissy Song" I think that is it. It is so sweet. Have a great day.
Wow, I can really relate to that song as well. I haven't heard it yet. I will be listing out for it.
I left you an award over on my blog. :)
I can't listen at work, but the lyrics have me with tears in my eyes. *hugs*
I'm new to your blog. I am so sorry for you loss. The loss of your husband, your best friend and your baby. I wish I had something "better" or more comforting to say.
I live in Michigan too. Yes, we have lots of snow, but I don't mind too much. I am definitley "Michigan Girl."
That is a beautifully, SAD song.
Those lyrics gave me chills - so beautiful. I'll definitely check the website out in a little bit so I can listen to the song.
I know I say it just about every time I comment, but... I'm so sorry you're having to go through this Jen. You're such a sweet person and it just... ugh - it just plain SUCKS!
As usual, I can't think of anything helpful to add (unlike Ericka's comment, which was lovely BTW), so I'll just let you know that I'm sending tons of gentle hugs your way!
Thinking of you.
I'm glad you finally got to hear this song. I had mentioned it to you a comment a while ago, and I thought it would really touch you. You are a very strong woman and it's amazing to see what God is doing with your life.
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