Made With Love

Today I spent most of the afternoon making 215 chocolate chip cookies. Yes, I made 215 chocolate chip cookies from...scratch! It took me from 11:00-2:30. Why you ask did I make so many cookies? Well, I will tell you.



When Shawn first started coaching seven years ago I started a little tradition. Since he was always gone all day on Sundays during football season I started baking and found that I really enjoyed it. One day I made two dozen chocolate chip cookies. For some reason we didn't eat many of them. So I wrapped them up and had Shawn take them into work on Monday for the other football coach's to eat. This started my every Sunday tradition. Every Sunday and I mean every Sunday during football season for the last seven years I would make a few dozen cookies and Shawn would take them into work with him on Monday morning. For some reason everyone I know raves about my cookies. I'm not sure why. Seriously, I use a plain Jane recipe, nothing fancy or special about them. I used to joke with all the guys and say that my cookies were the best because they were made with love.

Well, when we moved to Youngstown I continued with the tradition. The coach's at YSU loved them more than any other coaching staff at any other college Shawn had ever worked at. If for some reason I missed a Sunday both Shawn and I would get in big trouble. Not really, but I would have some really bummed coach's. It got to the point where I had to divide the cookies up into bags so that each coach would get their own bag. Otherwise they would fight over them. Can you picture it...big grown men fighting over cookies. During our first season at YSU I was sitting in Shawn's office with one of the guys that I'm still really close too. He looked at me and said, " I swear you do something special to your cookies. I have never in my life had a chocolate chip cookie this good" I looked at him and shook my head and told him I do nothing special. He looked at me and said, "Well, you must bake them with love" This is also the same guy that calls the cookies his "crack cookies". He was right, they were made with love. I loved baking on Sundays while Shawn was at work. I loved that I could help out the team by doing something so simple as making cookies.

Obviously, when Shawn passed away and I moved back to Michigan the staff did not get cookies every Sunday. However, last year when I went down for a game I brought a few dozen with me. They were so happy! I'm leaving again tomorrow to go down for a few days and to go to the game. I wasn't going to make the cookies this time. I have only made them the one time last year since Shawn has been gone. It's just not the same. I don't get the same enjoyment out of baking for them that I once did. I think it's because now I go to the stadium and drop them off and not Shawn. Well, the other day the student coach who Shawn and I were and still are extremely close too called me and I could tell he was having a bad day. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that for some reason that day he really missed Shawn, he needed and wanted him. He told me that he wanted nothing more than for him and Shawn to sit in the video room and break a game down together. I told him I totally understood and told him I would love to just sit and "be" with Shawn too. Then he asked if I would bring him down a few cookies. That was all it took. I of course told him yes. He even got his own big bag.

Baking them today wasn't the same. I enjoyed myself I really did, but it still didn't feel "right". For an instant it felt normal to me, for an instant it felt like Shawn was going to walk through the door and take them into the office his self, for an instant everything felt ok again, for an instant it felt a little like my old life. Then I kind of started to get a little teary, however as quick as the tears came they also disappeared. They disappeared because even though I know Shawn isn't here to take them in, I still get too and Shawn will still be with me and us. Now I get to be the one thatgets to see the look on their faces when I walk in with 215 chocolate chip cookies. Hopefully the cookies will make the one coach just a bit happier. If my cookies help make "my guys"day than I'm glad I did it.

Just in case you don't believe me here is what 215 chocolate chip cookies look like all stacked on top of each other.



I'm leaving tomorrow and going to spend the day with Jennie and her family. Thursday is dinner and drinks with the few of the guys that I'm the closest too. Maybe lunch with a few of the coach's wives as well. Friday my parents and sister are coming into town and will be staying in a hotel with a pool, so Jennie and I are going to take her boys swimming. Then Saturday is game day!! I can't wait to go to another Penguin football game. This will also be the game when I will be awarded Shawn's big award. I will be going out on the field, in front of everyone in between the first and second quarter of the game. I'm not really nervous to do that...ok, maybe a little bit. But I know I need to do this for Shawn so it will be easy and plus all the guys will be on the field with me so that will be great too. Then on Sunday we all will be coming back to Michigan.

I'm going to do my best with posting and commenting. However, I'm not sure how much time I will really have. So if I don't post or comment, please don't leave me. I will be back!! I'm pretty sure I will have time on Friday to do the "Faithful Friday" post, but I'm not sure how much more posting I will do. I guarantee you when I get back on Sunday there will be a big post with lots of pictures.

Go a head and eat a cookie...I know you want too!!