Holy Cow Look What I Did!!!

In college I wanted a tattoo really, really bad. I went two different times to get one and both times the place was closed. With that I figured fate was playing a role and it just was not meant to be. As time went on I was actually glad that I didn't get one when I was in school. I would hate to wake up one day when I'm 70 and regret getting something tattooed on my body that didn't have any meaning to me and that I had just gotten on a whim because I was young and stupid.

However, after Shawn died I thought lots and lots about getting a tattoo in honor of him. I just really wasn't sure what I wanted. I wanted a tattoo to be about Shawn, but at the same time I didn't want it to 'scream' Shawn either. I kind of wanted it to be a design that meant Shawn to me, but nobody else would really know. Then after I saw the Medium and after she made the comment about the baby and Shawn being my angels I knew exactly what I wanted.

Since I have no artistic ability I had a friend draw up a picture of a pair of angel wings. The drawing was almost 100% what I wanted. The only thing missing was a few little wispy aspects that I wanted placed on the wings. I have had the drawing for some time now, but really didn't do anything about finding a good tattoo artist. Enter my cousin. A few weeks ago my cousin had one of her tattoo's fixed and she went to a local artist here in town. She called me and told me that he was a super great guy and did amazing work. I then looked at her tattoo and was amazed at how he fixed an "artistic error" of somebody else. I knew then that I wanted him to do my tattoo. So last week I made an appointment to finally get my tattoo... a tattoo to memorialize Shawn, our baby, and a huge part of my past, a tattoo that would have significant meaning to me, even when I'm 70 years old.

About a half hour before my appointment I started to get a little nervous. I wasn't nervous at all to get the tattoo. I'm not going to lie...I was nervous as all get out for the pain. I've never been big on pain and I'm actually a big ole whimp! I was scared!! I'm not a big sweater unless I'm working out and I was so nervous I had wet spots on my shirt. Nice huh!! Nothing hotter than a lady sweating like a pig because she is so nervous. Anyhow, John the tattoo artist was amazing and he was so nice...almost gentle with me, but in a tough tattoo guy kinda way. I climbed up into the chair and he placed the stencil on my shoulder. The placement was perfect and exactly where I wanted it. Then he started and asked me if I was ready. I'm telling you I was so tense my muscles were actually shaking. He told me that if I just relaxed it really wouldn't be all that bad. Sure it won't!!! I bet that's what he tells everyone before he starts poking them over and over again with a huge needle. I actually was very pleasantly shocked....it really didn't hurt all that much. I mean yeah, there was pain, but nothing like I was expecting there to be. I for sure was thinking that it was going to be the worst pain of my entire life, but it really wasn't. The time's I've hurt my back were far worse pain than this. To me getting my tattoo was more of an irritating type of pain. Kind of like getting slapped with a rubber band a few times in a row, it was more of a burn than anything else. It was over before I knew it. After about 12 minutes he told me to get up and to look in the mirror. What?! I was done so fast!! I couldn't believe it was over already. I got up looked in the mirror and loved what I saw. It was exactly what I wanted. I was so happy to know have another part of Shawn and our baby always with me. After looking at it more once I got home I realized I may want the outline to be a bit thicker. He told me I could come back anytime I wanted and he could thicken it up for me. Since I was knew to tattooing he wanted to give me a softer look first. (I thought that was really nice of him)

I decided to only get black, white and grey. I didn't want there to be any flashy color. I wanted it to be simple and soft. As it heals the red that appears in the picture will fade and it will be just nice grey shading.

Are you ready for some pictures?

The artist's name was John and he was so nice. He knew I was a tattoo virgin and told me he would be "extra careful".

Ok...I know I look like I'm in lots of pain in this picture, but I'm really not. Really no idea why I have such a death grip on the chair!

This picture was taken immediately after the tattoo was finished.

This was taken about an hour after I had been home.

Same time frame, just in different light. Again, as it heals the red will fade.

I'm so happy with my choice not only to get my tattoo, but with the design as well. I know that Shawn and our baby are always with me and are always watching over me. But now with my tattoo, they really are with me, will always be and nobody can take that away from me.

Holy Shit!! I got a tattoo today....yeah, I'm a rock star!!! (hahahah yeah right!)