Yesterday and A Few Random Things

May 19, 2001 was a very special day for Shawn and I. That was the day that we got married. Yesterday would have been our eight year wedding anniversary. It seems like such a strange thing to think about...being married for eight years. By 10:00 in the morning two of my best friends had called me to see how I was doing. By noon I had received two phone calls from two of the ladies in my support group. I really an lucky to have such great friends. All things considered I had an "ok" day. Naturally our anniversary was the first thing I thought about when my eyes opened in the morning. I kept myself busy yesterday doing stuff for Sarah, so I didn't have much time to think about it, which I think that was a good thing. In the afternoon I took two yellow roses, and one red rose out to Shawn's grave and just sat there for a while. It was such a beautiful day to be outside (just like the day we got married), so I enjoyed the sun while talking to Shawn. There were only two times when I got kind of teary yesterday. One was while I was in the car. I saw an older couple walking on the sidewalk and they were holding hands and I could tell they were smiling. I found myself wondering how long the had been married. After that I got a little sad because I wanted that to be Shawn and one day, I wanted us to be that old couple holding hands smiling and talking to each other while on a walk. I will never get to experience that with Shawn. The other time I got a few tears in my eyes was right before I fell asleep. On every anniversary Shawn would always give me a gift (last year I got an AWESOME Coach purse), but he would also write me a letter, but I wasn't allowed to open that until we went to bed. So as I was falling asleep I found myself missing my yearly letter. Instead of crying I just went to my dresser and got out the letter from last year and re-read that. I had a few tears, but it did make me feel better. As I was falling asleep I thought about all the great times Shawn and I had during our marriage.

I love, love, love Jon Bon Jovi. I mean love him!! Always have and probably always will. Well because of my love for Bon Jovi it was Shawn's idea to have one of his songs played at our wedding. How sweet is that...I had a Bon Jovi song at my wedding and it wasn't' even my idea! Anyways the two of us picked "Thank You for Loving Me" The song played as we walked down the aisle. The only thing I was kind of upset about was the fact that I didn't really get to hear the whole song, because we were already outside by the time the song was over. O-well, it was still a great day and I still think it's awesome I had a Bon Jovi song at my wedding. Below is the acoustic version of the song for those who are interested in listening.

Now for a story... Yesterday I went to the gym. I never change my gym clothes in the locker room after working out. I just go straight home so it is no big deal. Yesterday I had a few things to do after working out so I changed my clothes. When I walked into the locker room I immediately saw this cute little old lady standing in the corner. Her hair was all done up, she had on make up and was standing in her bathing suit. As I was getting undressed she came up to be and in her oh so sweet old lady voice she asked if I could do a favor for her. As I'm standing dripping with sweat in my sports bra and shorts I tell her yes. She then asked me if I would help her take off her necklace because she didn't want it to get wet. I told her no problem at all. As I'm trying to take her necklace off she tells me that she doesn't want to creep me out but that inside of her locket his the ashes of her husband that just passed away. Insert big ole lump in my throat here. I just looked at her and told her that it didn't freak me out at all. She turned to me and told me that her necklace usually makes people feel uncomfortable. At that moment I told her that I wasn't freaked out at all and showed her my necklace of Shawn's thumb print. I told her that my husband had too recently passed away and that I wear his thumbprint around my neck every day. She looked at me and started crying, then she gave me the biggest old lady hug I think I have ever gotten. She told me that I was too young and too beautiful to be going through something so awful. (clearly she couldn't' see well because I was dripping in sweat and had on NO make-up) Then we stood there and talked about our husbands for a few minutes. She asked me what happened to Shawn and I told her. Then she asked me if she could ask a question. I told her sure, no problem. She told me that her husband passed away right before Christmas this year and that she doesn't think Christmas will ever be the same. Then she asked me, "You have been a widow a little longer than I have does it ever get easier, do you ever stop missing him because I miss my husband so so much." I sat there looking back at this sweet little old lady with tears in my eyes and responded with, "No I haven't found it to get easier, I think you just learn to come to terms with it. I miss Shawn more and more every day, however you start to have more and more good days and less bad." I told her that I still think about Shawn all the time and will always love him and that is ok. She looked at me gave me another hug and told me that was what she wanted to hear and that she was very happy that the two of us crossed paths today. She turned and walked away, and told me thank you for taking off her necklace because she didn't want to drowned her husband in the pool. She was such a sweet lady and I can't stop thinking about her.

On a happy note I met a new friend today. Jodi from http://ourcrazylife81.blogspot.com has been reading my blog for a while now and I have been reading hers. First we started commenting on each other's blogs. Then we began sending emails to each other. As we started talking we realized that we only live about 20 minutes from each other. We have been trying to set up a lunch date for some time, but could never get our schedules to match. Then this week we got it worked out and met today for lunch. We had a great time and had really good conversation and enjoyed getting to know each other more during lunch. We both said we felt as if we already knew each other from reading our blogs. Funny how you can really get to know someone just by reading about their life through a blog. Anyways we had a great time and I'm sure we will do more things together in the future. It's great to have another friend here back home. Thanks for meeting me today for lunch Jodi, I did have a great time, hope to see you soon.

Ok, this is long (shocking!) and it is really nice outside so I think I'm going to take Bo outside and play with him for a while. As always, thanks for reading!