Wow, It's Been Busy and A Whirlwind of Emotions!!

The last few weeks I have done some pretty major things all of which where a touch on the emotional side. However, I'm extremely happy to report that each of the two things that I did turned out extremely well. Actually, I could not have asked for a better outcome on either occasion and I'm so happy that both turned out so well because to say I was nervous about both would be an understatement. Well one of the things I was extremely nervous about and the other one not so much, but both were still pretty big deals. Lets start with two weekends ago. Just a warning, this one might get long so stay with me.

Two weekends ago Mr. X and I had a great weekend, but Saturday in particular was pretty great. His three year old little boy plays soccer on Saturday mornings so as usual we went to the game. The entire team is great and all nine of the kids on the team have improved, but I have to say that Mr. X's little boy is AWESOME!! He scores most of the goals, passes like a pro, dribbles the ball (that's what soccer players call it when they kick the ball) and is an all around great player. I'm telling you the kid is pretty darn amazing at every sport he plays, and believe me when I say we play every sport! It was great getting to watch Mr. X react to his son playing the game as well. He is such a great Daddy! After the soccer game Mr. X and I went to Home Depot to get a few things, then went out to lunch. We only went to Taco Bell, but it was oh-so-yummy! After we came home and watched a movie on TV and were just bums for a while. Then we decided we should probably be a little productive so we decided to go to my storage shed and start cleaning up some things and sorting a few things out. Okay guys, this is where it gets big!

My ENTIRE life with Shawn is in that storage shed. When I moved back to Michigan I put our entire house into that shed, other than a few things I took with me to my parents house. Shawn's clothes, books, pictures, collector's items of Shawn's, our furniture, a box full of baby items that Shawn and I had already gotten, EVERYTHING was in that shed! For a long time I didn't want to go back to the shed because I didn't want all of those memories to smack me in the face. I wasn't sure how it was going to feel walking into all of "that". However, the last few months I have been feeling like I really needed and that it was time to start going through some of those things. When Shawn died I also didn't give one single thing to his family. I know it was probably wrong of me, but I just couldn't do it. I'm pretty sure his parents where hurt and upset by this and it probably ended up putting a little rift between all of us. However, at the time I just could not part with anything that was Shawn's. I didn't care who was getting it, I felt like I needed it and I needed to keep it. At the time I felt like if I gave anything of Shawn's away then I was going to somehow forget part of Shawn. Well, at almost two years I have realized that is not the case. I have realized that my memories aren't in the actual items, but they are in my heart and nobody can take those away from me. I started feeling like maybe it was time to go through some of Shawn's things and to give a few items to Shawn's parents. I talked about this with Mr. X and he was totally AMAZING!!! He told me that he would be there for me and support me every step of the way as well as helping move stuff around in the shed. So after our conversation I made the decision to call Shawn's parents and ask if they would like to meet me at my shed and pick out a few things of Shawn's that they might like. I was fully expecting them to say that they were busy and could not make it out, but to my surprise they told me they were getting in the car and where on their way. Gulp! Okay, hang on to your seats because this is where it gets really BIG!

After I got off the phone with Shawn's parents I called my mom and told her to meet us with the key at the shed and I also told her that I had called his parents and that Mr. X was with me. My parents have met Mr. X before and really like him so I was not at all worried about that. However, this would be the first time that Shawn's parents would be meeting him. I don't really talk to his parents all that often so they did not even know that Mr. X and I had been dating. I was so nervous I could almost feel my heart jumping out of my chest. For a few minutes it was a totally nerve wracking experience. My mom, sister and Mr. X tried to calm me down by encouraging me and told me that everything was going to be okay and that I was doing the right thing by allowing Shawn's parents to have a few of his things. I asked Mr. X if he was going to be okay with meeting Shawn's parents and he told me that he was okay with the situation if I was okay with it. He also said that he just didn't want Shawn's parents to feel uncomfortable either. What a great guy huh? At this point Mr. X and myself were in my shed and my nerves were going into overdrive. At any moment Shawn's parents would be arriving and I had no idea how this entire thing was going to go down.

Once Shawn's parents arrived I introduced them to Mr. X and told them who he was. Both of them were very polite and shook his hand. Then we all started going through things in the shed. Actually, I went through things and asked if it was anything that they would be interested in. Mr. X was once again great and helped carry boxes to their car and helped move the really heavy items around in the shed. We were all there for about an hour and a half. I'm happy to report that after a few minutes my nerves settled down. I'm even happier to say that the entire "shed experience" went much better than I had anticipated it going. There were moments when it was clear that Shawn's parents were having a difficult time being there with his things, but at the same time we (myself included) could tell how grateful they were that I was giving them some of Shawn's things. A few days after I got an email from his mom telling me thank you for giving them some things and how much it meant to them. They also said that in the short time they met Mr. X they thought that he was a great guy, that Shawn would have really liked him and that they were happy for me. I didn't cry at all the day we were going through the shed, but when I read that email I cried. Maybe, after the last almost two years being kind of rocky between them and myself, maybe we all came to some sort of understanding with each other. I guess time will tell. It was nice to go through the shed and to get rid of of things that I don't want or need anymore and at the same time it was great to see and be around some of Shawn's things once again. All in all it ended up being a great day. Mr. X and I finished up the day by going out to dinner at a new restaurant in town and by going out with some friends at night. Even though it was an emotional day, it was still great!

Okay, now for big deal number two!

As you all know last weekend was Memorial Day. Every Memorial Day my family goes up to the lake for the weekend and we all just kind of hang out around the house. Shawn and I rarely went up on Memorial Day because it seemed like Shawn was always working, or the drive would be way too far for us to go. Last year I went and it was the first time being at the lake since Shawn had died and I remember crying almost the entire time. Anyhow, last weekend we all went up to the lake and by "we" I mean, myself, Mr. X and his two kids. It was the first time that Mr. X would be meeting my entire family. He has met my mom, sister, brother and brother's fiance, but this would be the first time meeting my aunt, uncle, and two cousins. I figured and knew that everyone would get along, but at the same time you always wonder what will happen when you are all under the same roof for an entire weekend. Let me tell you all....the weekend could not have been any BETTER!!! It was truly great and one of the best weekends I have had at the lake in a really long time! Everyone got along amazingly well! Not that I didn't think they wouldn't but was very much relieved when they did. My entire family totally embraced Mr. X and his kids!! How great is that?! The weather was amazing, probably one of the best Memorial Days weather wise in about 10 years! My entire family, including Mr. X and the kids played three different family baseball games together. Something that my family has never done before. However, Mr. X's little boy wanted us all to play baseball with him, so that is what we did and had an amazing time each game. We also all played in the water and the beach most of Saturday. Actually, I think we spent more time outside and at the beach and Saturday than we did in the house. Saturday night once the kids were asleep we all sat around the table and played board games. It was so much fun!! We all had a wonderful time. It was so nice to be able to introduce Mr. X and his kids to the rest of my family. Mr. X, myself, and the two kids had a GREAT time together and really spent some good quality time with each other. On Sunday we left our house on the lake and went to Mr. X's parents house on a different lake. Once again we had a wonderful time and spent much of the rest of the weekend outside.

The entire weekend was better than I could have asked for and not so sound all girlie and cheesy but it was all very fairy tale like! I'm so glad the four of us got to spend the entire weekend together with each of our families. It felt amazing to be happy, smiling, and laughing once again. It was a weekend I will remember for a really long time.

There are a few other "big" things that have happened to me within the last few weeks as well. However, as I said a few post ago, I can not talk about them at this time. However, I assure you and promise you that I will post about them when I can and it will be one great big happy post. I totally can not wait to share these things with each one of you. It will take some time but one day I will!

Thanks for reading, for all the continued support, and thanks for always standing my me. My readers are great!!